his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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