he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
