i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
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After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.