you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
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we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
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I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?