I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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