i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize