Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
