If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
