just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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