So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
