i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
