oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you would pick up someone in the library
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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