I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
