i think my tv is drunk
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
