I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
