I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
