How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
