she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
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The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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