Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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