If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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