I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
