im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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