No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
