I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
please come you make the beer taste better
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize