All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
