i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
