How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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