the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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