that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I need to sanitize my soul.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize