i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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