and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
