I don't think brook has ever known best
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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