Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize