your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
