Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize