Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
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Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
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She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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