He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
