I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The best revenge is premature balding
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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