The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
