i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
