maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
