You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
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I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
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We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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