No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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