This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
