You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
