Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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