we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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