Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
