I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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