Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
