Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize