Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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